Happy Birthday to my favorite European, trust-fund baby, alt-emo-electro-pop quartet
It's your birthday, your special day. And like you say in your hit song "Take a Doo-Doo Pie", "Your moves like hot biscuit, face so pretty, snickerdoodle want to shock sock dandy... forever." Remember that, and keep it with you.
This morning, when you wake up at 4:16pm, roll out of bed, and smoke a clove cigarette through one of those long, silver cigarette holders things while unsuccessfully trying to find inspiration in the writings of obscure French authors; know that the people who tolerate you do so slightly more today, because they're sort of obligated.
Happy Birthday, my favorite European, trust-fund baby, alt-emo-electro-pop quartet!
-Marc
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
One-Act: Pass or Fail... Just Like Gym Class
The following is the first installment of a new series that will consist of One-Act plays based on current events. This particular play is based a recent luke-warm review by Entertainment Weekly of Kanye West's "Glow in the Dark" Tour. Enjoy.
Act 1: Where in Kanye West reacts to a B+ review of his tour
Kanye: Yo, anybody that's not a fan; don't come to my show. For what?! To try and throw ya'll two cents in? Ya'll rated my album shitty and now ya'll come to the show and give it a B+. What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-! You know what, fuck you and the whole fucking staff!!! I know I shouldn't dignify this with a comment, but the reviewer threw a jab at all the artists. I just wanna know when was the last time you enjoyed yourself. If you can't have fun and lose yourself at this tour it's a good chance you're a very miserable person. I actually feel sorry for you guys. Your job forces you to not have fun anymore. Grab a drink, holla at some nice girls, and party bitch!! You don't know shit about passion and art. You'll never gain credibility at this rate. You're fucking trash! I make art. You can't rate this. I'm a real person. I'm not a pop star. I don't care about anything but making great art. Never come 2 one of my shows ever again, you're not invited and if you see me...BOW!! This is not pop, it's pop art!
Marc: You're right, Kany-ezze... they all need to holla at some nice girls and those bitches need to party.
The End.
Act 1: Where in Kanye West reacts to a B+ review of his tour
Kanye: Yo, anybody that's not a fan; don't come to my show. For what?! To try and throw ya'll two cents in? Ya'll rated my album shitty and now ya'll come to the show and give it a B+. What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-! You know what, fuck you and the whole fucking staff!!! I know I shouldn't dignify this with a comment, but the reviewer threw a jab at all the artists. I just wanna know when was the last time you enjoyed yourself. If you can't have fun and lose yourself at this tour it's a good chance you're a very miserable person. I actually feel sorry for you guys. Your job forces you to not have fun anymore. Grab a drink, holla at some nice girls, and party bitch!! You don't know shit about passion and art. You'll never gain credibility at this rate. You're fucking trash! I make art. You can't rate this. I'm a real person. I'm not a pop star. I don't care about anything but making great art. Never come 2 one of my shows ever again, you're not invited and if you see me...BOW!! This is not pop, it's pop art!
Marc: You're right, Kany-ezze... they all need to holla at some nice girls and those bitches need to party.
The End.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Gawker Stalker Sighting: Jeff Olsen
I was reading Gawker today and saw this Gawker Stalker entry:
"My friends and I saw Jeff Olson, the Cowboy from The Village People, at Staley Wise Gallery (560 Broadway @ Prince St) for Ron Galella's photography show. We were hoping David Bowie, The Boss, Mick Jagger, Bob Dylan, Michael Jackson or Elizabeth Taylor would show up."
How in the hell do you know who Jeff Olsen is, let alone what he looks like and who he was in the Village People? If ABBA walked down the street right by me, no, if ABBA walked into my office and started singing "Dancing Queen" I would still think, "who are these people singing 'Dancing Queen' in my office?" ABBA didn't even wear costumes...
Seriously, you recognized one of the Village People, thirty years after their prime, AND out of costume on the street? If Jeff Olsen was walking down the street with three other guys dressed as: an Indian Chief, a biker, and a construction worker; I might venture to guess he is the other member--but even then I'd be apprehensive.
Editorial Note: I realize that the term "Indian Chief" is not PC, but that was the placard assigned to whoever that guy was who performed in the Village People originally, so that's what I'm going with. PS: I capitalized it at least.
And this makes me wonder: in Bizzaro world is there a Marc in the City blog that's written by a man who grew up as a young gay boy in the 70s who wouldn't recognize Victoria Beckham on the street?
Seriously, don't even post Gawker Stalker sightings about Jeff Olsen... they just confuse people and detract from actual celebrities to be gawked at and stalked.
"My friends and I saw Jeff Olson, the Cowboy from The Village People, at Staley Wise Gallery (560 Broadway @ Prince St) for Ron Galella's photography show. We were hoping David Bowie, The Boss, Mick Jagger, Bob Dylan, Michael Jackson or Elizabeth Taylor would show up."
How in the hell do you know who Jeff Olsen is, let alone what he looks like and who he was in the Village People? If ABBA walked down the street right by me, no, if ABBA walked into my office and started singing "Dancing Queen" I would still think, "who are these people singing 'Dancing Queen' in my office?" ABBA didn't even wear costumes...
Seriously, you recognized one of the Village People, thirty years after their prime, AND out of costume on the street? If Jeff Olsen was walking down the street with three other guys dressed as: an Indian Chief, a biker, and a construction worker; I might venture to guess he is the other member--but even then I'd be apprehensive.
Editorial Note: I realize that the term "Indian Chief" is not PC, but that was the placard assigned to whoever that guy was who performed in the Village People originally, so that's what I'm going with. PS: I capitalized it at least.
And this makes me wonder: in Bizzaro world is there a Marc in the City blog that's written by a man who grew up as a young gay boy in the 70s who wouldn't recognize Victoria Beckham on the street?
Seriously, don't even post Gawker Stalker sightings about Jeff Olsen... they just confuse people and detract from actual celebrities to be gawked at and stalked.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Sex and the Park Slope?
Apparently Darren Star, who brought us all "Sex and the City" (the eponymous television show that inspired the very name of this website--sort of), now has a new show in the works that focuses on moms in Park Slope, or something:
"Producers are giving Park Slope the star treatment with a pilot by the same executives who brought “Sex and the City,” starring Sarah Jessica Parker, and “Melrose Place” to TV.
According to industry sources, Darren Star, who created those smash shows, has teamed with Sony and NBC for a proposed series about a group of affluent characters who live in the upscale Brooklyn neighborhood."
Do people not realize how tiny Park Slope is? I mean, granted, "Sex and the City" pretty much covered the eight square miles that encompass the Upper East Side and all the: East and West Villages, Chelsea, Tribeca, etc; but Park slope is about two square miles! On top of that, most of that square mileage consists of identical brownstones and Prospect Park.
And Park Slope is definitely an island among itself. Walk North and you're in the boring/shitty/not-yet-gentrified/mildly dangerous: Bed-Stuy and Fort Greene areas. Walk south and you're in the boring/shitty/even less gentrified/more full of identical run-down brownstones: Sunset Park. You don't even want to walk East past Prospect Park. That's, like, East Flatbush no-man's-land.
But I like Park Slope. Jade described it as "where people from Williamsburg move when they have babies," which is completely accurate. There are some cool places in Park Slope, but I haven't even spent much time there and I'm already running out of things to do. There are a couple streets with interesting bars, a killer sneaker store called "Soula," and a vegan restaurant that's not bad. And that's about it.
I imagine the new Darren Star show will start out in Park Slope, and slowly branch out into Brooklyn Heights and DUMBO without telling viewers. Eventually everyone watching will think Park Slope is as big as Manhattan, and encompasses all the affluent areas of Brooklyn in one spectacular neighborhood.
PS: I'd definitely watch a show that involved Carrie Bradshaw living in Bed-Stuy. Unfortunately it would only last three episodes.
Episode 1: The "move-in episode." Where in, Carrie does a voice over explaining why she had to move out of Manhattan. There's a moving montage, then a bunch of scenes where she mopes around and her annoying friends try to convince her it's not so bad (in each of their particularly whaspy brands of condescension).
Episode 2: Carrie finds a love-interest named "Lo-Jack" who helps Carrie move her mahogany-stained Valencia armoire into place. She'll display mild irritation with the G-train, and write a column about how gentrification is a metaphor for modern relationships and vice-versa.
Episode 3: Ends abruptly when Carrie runs to the corner store to grab a vitamin water and is murdered.
"Producers are giving Park Slope the star treatment with a pilot by the same executives who brought “Sex and the City,” starring Sarah Jessica Parker, and “Melrose Place” to TV.
According to industry sources, Darren Star, who created those smash shows, has teamed with Sony and NBC for a proposed series about a group of affluent characters who live in the upscale Brooklyn neighborhood."
Do people not realize how tiny Park Slope is? I mean, granted, "Sex and the City" pretty much covered the eight square miles that encompass the Upper East Side and all the: East and West Villages, Chelsea, Tribeca, etc; but Park slope is about two square miles! On top of that, most of that square mileage consists of identical brownstones and Prospect Park.
And Park Slope is definitely an island among itself. Walk North and you're in the boring/shitty/not-yet-gentrified/mildly dangerous: Bed-Stuy and Fort Greene areas. Walk south and you're in the boring/shitty/even less gentrified/more full of identical run-down brownstones: Sunset Park. You don't even want to walk East past Prospect Park. That's, like, East Flatbush no-man's-land.
But I like Park Slope. Jade described it as "where people from Williamsburg move when they have babies," which is completely accurate. There are some cool places in Park Slope, but I haven't even spent much time there and I'm already running out of things to do. There are a couple streets with interesting bars, a killer sneaker store called "Soula," and a vegan restaurant that's not bad. And that's about it.
I imagine the new Darren Star show will start out in Park Slope, and slowly branch out into Brooklyn Heights and DUMBO without telling viewers. Eventually everyone watching will think Park Slope is as big as Manhattan, and encompasses all the affluent areas of Brooklyn in one spectacular neighborhood.
PS: I'd definitely watch a show that involved Carrie Bradshaw living in Bed-Stuy. Unfortunately it would only last three episodes.
Episode 1: The "move-in episode." Where in, Carrie does a voice over explaining why she had to move out of Manhattan. There's a moving montage, then a bunch of scenes where she mopes around and her annoying friends try to convince her it's not so bad (in each of their particularly whaspy brands of condescension).
Episode 2: Carrie finds a love-interest named "Lo-Jack" who helps Carrie move her mahogany-stained Valencia armoire into place. She'll display mild irritation with the G-train, and write a column about how gentrification is a metaphor for modern relationships and vice-versa.
Episode 3: Ends abruptly when Carrie runs to the corner store to grab a vitamin water and is murdered.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Overheard on Canal Street
While waiting for the train the other day on Canal Street, I overheard to men having the following discussion about Satellite TV and HD channels:
Over-dressed and out-of-place guy #1: Dish Network has so many more HD channels than TimeWarner.
Over-dressed and out-of-place guy #2: (who is holding a golf club with a little cotton golf club head protector): Yeah, but Dish Network is just so unreliable, which is why I went with TimeWarner.
Me: I don't know why you guys are talking about TV when you have that sweet golf-club protector! You should be talking about that! Have you seen it, it's shaped like a horse's head and that's adorable! Hey, do you guys want to hang out, get a beer or something?! Do you guys watch "Gilmore Girls?" I love that show.
I didn't really say that.
Over-dressed and out-of-place guy #1: Dish Network has so many more HD channels than TimeWarner.
Over-dressed and out-of-place guy #2: (who is holding a golf club with a little cotton golf club head protector): Yeah, but Dish Network is just so unreliable, which is why I went with TimeWarner.
Me: I don't know why you guys are talking about TV when you have that sweet golf-club protector! You should be talking about that! Have you seen it, it's shaped like a horse's head and that's adorable! Hey, do you guys want to hang out, get a beer or something?! Do you guys watch "Gilmore Girls?" I love that show.
I didn't really say that.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Bachelor Auction at NJ.com
Hey! I got re-posted at NJ.com, the official local news blog of New Jersey!
So if you want to read the article I wrote, then go to NJ.com and read what they wrote about what I wrote, and then get linked back here to read what I wrote again go to:
http://www.nj.com/hobokennow/index.ssf/2008/04/going_once_going_twice_sold.html
PS: Thanks for letting me let them use the picture, Erin.
So if you want to read the article I wrote, then go to NJ.com and read what they wrote about what I wrote, and then get linked back here to read what I wrote again go to:
http://www.nj.com/hobokennow/index.ssf/2008/04/going_once_going_twice_sold.html
PS: Thanks for letting me let them use the picture, Erin.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Haircut
In the interest of full disclosure, Dear Reader, I must tell you that I spent $67 on a haircut last weekend.
Now wait for the initial shock to wear off...
It was most certainly and undoubtably the finest haircut I've ever received. She took her time to really understand how my hair works, and took in to consideration my absurd hairline and hair texture.
One of the great things about paying that much for a haircut is that it really makes you care about your hair, which can be good or bad. I think it's good because I'm a guy who cares about his appearance, but not to the point where I'll really go too far out of my way. Now I feel sort of obligated, and I guess that's actually kind of nice.... does that make sense?
Anyway, the place was called Shampoo, and if you're willing to spend the money I would recommend it to anyone.
Editorial Note: Every Friday at Shampoo is "Metal Friday," so if you love Metallica Friday's your day. Or if you love the novelty of getting your haircut while listening to angry metal in the background you should go on Friday.
Now wait for the initial shock to wear off...
It was most certainly and undoubtably the finest haircut I've ever received. She took her time to really understand how my hair works, and took in to consideration my absurd hairline and hair texture.
One of the great things about paying that much for a haircut is that it really makes you care about your hair, which can be good or bad. I think it's good because I'm a guy who cares about his appearance, but not to the point where I'll really go too far out of my way. Now I feel sort of obligated, and I guess that's actually kind of nice.... does that make sense?
Anyway, the place was called Shampoo, and if you're willing to spend the money I would recommend it to anyone.
Editorial Note: Every Friday at Shampoo is "Metal Friday," so if you love Metallica Friday's your day. Or if you love the novelty of getting your haircut while listening to angry metal in the background you should go on Friday.
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