An Open Letter To Facebook Applications

Dear Facebook Applications,

All right, as is evident by my facebook profile, I LOVE facebook applications. I like the quizzes, and the personality tests, and the playing Oregon Trail, and the like. I also love when arbitrary tests/quizzes claim to tell me about my personality! Biz knows this first hand, as we used to use library study time during European History class taking Cosmo Quizzes. With that in mind, I added an application called something about your astrological sign and what your birth date means.

I signed up, then it said, "invite 20 friends so you can see your full profile!" I thought surely there are 20 people on facebook who wouldn't care if I sent them the invite to some stupid app. I did think it was weird because most apps don't ask you to do this, but whatever. So I did it, then this damn pop-up appears that I can't click out of! It asks me to choose my gender, and I immediately knew where this was going. Like I said, I tried to click out and all these little boxes popped up that said things like "ARE YOU SURE YOU don't WANT EXIT OUT?"

The more I clicked the more elaborate the stupid little "Are you sure?" boxes kept popping up!!! So I was like, aw fuck it, let's see if this is a credit card scam, a cell phone scam, or a social security scam. The next question after gender was actually a request: "Please enter your cell phone number." What in the hell does that have to do with my zodiac sign and how that will tell me about my personality? How? Tell me, facebook... tell me.

So if you were one of the 20 people I sent this too don't load it up, it's a piece of shit and will make you really frustrated and angry. It, at least, got me worked up.

PS: WTF Scrabulous? That sucks Milton-Bradley pulled the plug on you. Why don't you just take out all the Scrabble colors and stuff, use generic names for everything, change your name to something like "WORD MADNESS," and call yourself a parody of Scrabble? That will hold up in court, just ask Roy Orbison/2 Live Crew.