An Ode to My Former Geekiness

I recently wrote in a newsletter that my New Year's resolution for 2009 is to embrace my inner-geekiness. I've started this process by reading a memoir about a kid growing up in England who's obsessed with Dungeons & Dragons. I've tried recently to read Lord of the Rings, and while I would love to finish it, I'm finding it hard to get through. I think I've just grown too fond of books that are grounded in reality. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it's just a hindrance in the pursuit to accept the fact that I probably would have played Magic in middle school, if given the opportunity.

I need to buy a new computer, which opens up a whole other dynamic of my as-yet-fully-unleashed nerd-dom. See, when I was in high school I was kind of a computer geek (points already for early adoption!). This was mainly because my dad was really into computers, and at the time it was really chic for guys who didn't play sports to know about computers... so maybe I don't win points. Anyway, I remember a time when everyone knew the speed of their computer processor. I recall a conversation with someone in the hall once where I said the phrase: "300 MB processor? That's just excessive." Now I couldn't even tell you how fast my computer is. All I can tell you about my computer now is that it's shitty, and I need a new one. Thus, I need to buy a computer. I have a vague understanding of what's good to have when buying a computer, but that's counter-acted by the fact that I'm looking at Macs because they're pretty, and play music well... high school Marc would not get along with 25-year-old Marc.

Getting back to my original point, this resolution was spawned on New Year's Eve while watching the first half of the second Lord of the Rings movie. I legitimately enjoyed it like I had never previously allowed myself to. I don't think I'm ever going to remember what those tree people are called, but I might go back and watch the movies again... in HD... then with director's commentary. Or not, who knows?

But this all isn't just to say that I didn't embrace some modicum of geek aptitude. I loved Star Trek in high school, and still do. I used to watch two hours of it every day after school--they played The Next Generation in a two hour block every afternoon at 4:00. I liked Star Trek so much that I collected the trading cards, even though I didn't know how to play the card game that they accompanied. I just treated them like other kids treated baseball cards. I knew all the characters, all the items, and remembered the episodes the cards were from. I got a thrill from going through those card value magazines and watching my "Future Worf" card go up 12 cents. But like I said, I never played the game. I guess that was the line I drew. Distant appreciation without participation.

The truth is, I wonder sometimes if that was my destiny. That sounds overly dramatic. Let's put it this way, I wonder sometimes if that was an identity I would have confided in, where my world could have been passionately revolved around fantastical characters and settings. Later I would have gotten into comic books, and started playing those really exhaustive board games that have story lines, and background information about the characters, and take ten hours to finish. Maybe I would have watched less TV and in turn had an attention span that lasts more than 10 minutes now. Michael Chabon loved comic books, so have a lot of successful authors who credit them with teaching them how to tell a compelling story.

I'm getting off track. Do I have regrets though? No, not at all. I think there are lots of roads we can all go down, whether it be running cross country, or nerding it up in someone's basement, or doing a bunch of drugs and becoming a junkie at the age of 15. For all of the missed opportunities and hours wasted watching Star Trek without fully adopting the culture, I know I gained other opportunities and spent the remainder of my time doing things of a broader scope outside of the realm of Sci-Fi fantasy. Did you know I used to fence? It's true. That's just one of the many odd and varied hobbies I've adopted in the past. And I never would have ever done that had I developed a singularly-focused affinity for this one type of past time.


An argument can be made that the level of satisfaction is equal if not greater when you're keyed into one specific thing like fantasy gaming; or baking; or learning awesome ninja skills, but that just wasn't for me. I could list several factors that I think kept me from choosing one particular thing, but the truth is, it was my decision to keep a high-level view of all those types of things--that just fit my personality.

It fit my personality like the Mithril shirt recovered from the dragon Smaug and given to Bilbo Baggins by Thorin Oakenshield. Bam!