I pass this ad everyday on the way home from work. I thought she was out of my life forever. Now you got me thinking about how she's doing, so I'm going to get drunk and call her (probably this weekend). And she's going to say, "Marc... it's been so long. How are you? I've missed you."
To which I will respond, "Oh my God, I'm soooo wasted. I loooooove you."
Then she's going to take it the wrong way and we're going to be back where we started. And that's not really something I can do right now; I have a lot of things going on my plate lately! I mean, I've got the 16th Floor Coffee Initiative to deal with, and that whole loft bed thing... I just don't have time for this right now!
And everytime we went out we'd wind up at Fendi for six hours while I told her which bag made her look thin.
All of them do, Keira, all of them do.
But I'll admit, there were some good times. Like the time I went to her house and her father called me a Yankee, and I didn't know what he meant. He said "you know, the seperatists," and I said, "oh, you mean the Confederacy," and he said, "No, uh, well... nevermind," and I punched him in the head and told him that we saved "their" asses in WWII. God Bless America.
But that's beside the point. Look, Keira, if you're reading this, you have to understand that I've moved on, and you should too. That Jonathan Rhys-Meyers seems cute, and he has a funny accent too! Maybe when he gets out of rehab I'll introduce you two.
At any rate: thanks, Chanel.
1 comment:
This made me laugh like a Saudi at a stoning, except without all the rage.
I don't like comparing myself to a Saudi at a stoning. Nowadays, I don't like comparing myself to a Saudi judge acting "within the law", because they're always giving gang-rape victims 200 lashes for meeting with an unrelated man without a relative to escort her.
In sum, f Islamic fundamentalists, and hooray hilarious blogs.
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