Thanksgiving in Hoboken

This weekend Walt, Michael, and Mike had people over to their place in Hoboken, NJ for a sort of preliminary Thanksgiving Spectacular. Walt made a turkey and his grandmother's mashed potatoes. The rest of us brought what we could and proceeded to get drunk. Here is our story:

I woke up on Saturday at about, are you ready for this, 10:00am. What's up? Because I need a space-heater for my office, I caught the R and the N over to Target, and got some groceries for the green-bean casserole I was making for the Thanksgiving festivities. Here's an actual conversation I had with a Target employee:

Marc: Hi, do you have groceries at this store?

Target Employee: Groceries?

*Marc stares confused at the Target Employee for about 15 seconds while Target Employee stares back with equal confusion*

Marc: You know, like food.

Target Employee: Oh, yeah, second floor.

They had all of the canned goods I needed: chicken broth, cream of mushroom soup, etc, but they didn't have some stuff. No biggie, I'll just go to the grocery store when I get back.

So I get home, drop off my things, and head over to the store. Unlike Target, the Foodtown was just out-of-control packed. There were people all over the place with carts full of fried onion rings, and cranberry sauce. The place smelled of turkey and a pumpkin pie that had been knocked on the floor earlier. And the marshmellows were almost out of stock.

While I searched for my remaining ingrediants, I noticed that the overhead speakers were playing "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. I have nothing against this song, but it's not really one of my faves. As I'm walking around, looking for diced pecans, I see that an old woman is singing along to "My Heart Will Go On" while she's picking out crackers. I kind of chuckle and move along. Then I see another woman, about the same age, singing along as well! So now I know there are TWO people in this store singing along to "My Heart Will Go On."

I negotiate a few carts, and find the bag of pecans. When I look up, there's a man, maybe 47, with a mustache (who looks kind of like Bernard Kerik with hair) singing along to "My Heart Will Go On" too! What?! Is this just the most popular song in Bay Ridge? It might be... I'll have to run some tests.

I get home and am confronted with all of Amy's boxes (see post "Putting S*** Together"). Only some of it spilled over into the kitchen area, but it was easily dealt with. Amy was already cooking yams and was pretty much ready to go. I quickly whipped together the green-bean casserole together and we were on our way.





We were on the subway so long that I started to fall in love with FOX morning news correspondent Jodi Applegate...











Before I forget, here's my green-bean casserole. Hot n' delicious, bitches:











After about 17 hours on the train, we made it to Hoboken. Neither of us had eaten all day, so we were not only freezing, but starving. When I don't eat I get kind of irritable, so when the Salvation Army bell-ringer told me even a penny helped and that I need to think about the children I responded thusly:

Marc: I need to think about the children? What? I need a penny, I need a dollar, why don't you give me a dollar! I have to go out to drinks every night after work, do you know how expensive that gets? Shit is expensive! You ever bought a beer in Midtown? It's, like $28 during happy hour! Even a penny helps? Even a penny helps me! This motherfucker right here is in need, where's my bell-ringer? Salvation Marc, where's the Salvation Marc!?"

While we waited for the turkey to finish, Michael and Brent set up the most romantic game of beer-pong in history outside. You can't really tell from the pictures, but it was pitch black save for a single red candle on the side of the table. This also gave way to one of the longest games of beer-pong in recorded history.

Editorial Note: You're never too old to play beer-pong.


Brent and I were victorious.

The turkey finished cooking, and Walt carved it:


And he had to make sure it was good:


There aren't any pictures of people enjoying all of the delicious food because I was busy filling my fat face with mashed potatoes.

But here are a couple pictures of the food itself:


I ate too fast and got the hiccups. The hiccups lasted all the way back to Brooklyn...


All of us were pretty sleepy after all that turkey, so Amy and I went home. 22 hours later we were waiting at the 59th St. stop to catch the R. It felt like forever. The wait made Amy mad, and turned me into an emo kid.


We got home at about 10:45pm and I passed out on the couch in an awkward position.


Oddly comfortable.

Thanks again for having us over guys, it was fun. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.