Alabaster Skin

This girl read a story she wrote in one of my writing classes during college. I don't remember the story at all, but I remember when it was time for us to discuss her story a kid raised his hand and said, "I think the use of the term 'porcelain skin' is a little cliche... whenever I have to describe really white, fair skin I say "alabaster skin."

I've thought for a long time that that was just a really annoying thing to say. He said it in this really condescending way too, like he had the solution to her problem, and it was thus. I mean, honestly, alabaster skin is almost as cliche as porcelain skin--it might even be about equal in over-used-ness.

I was neither of the people in this story, just an objective observer. The kid who commented was kind of my arch-nemesis in college. He always carried around this little glass bottle of Perrier water around with him that clanked especially loud when he put it down before class. He also wore a really nice, long black wool coat that seethed with misunderstood artisanship. What was even more annoying was that he wasn't completely un-aware of himself. Truth be told--aside from the alabaster skin thing--he was pretty talented.

After our last class, in our Senior year of college, I was sitting in a hallway waiting for someone, and he came up to me. A piece I wrote for a writing magazine on campus had been accepted and was recently published. He was not in the magazine, though he submitted plenty of his own work. We never overtly disliked each other, and actually had a few fairly good conversations in the past, but this was different. He walked up to me and told me how surprised he was that my piece had been chosen--not because it was bad, but that it just wasn't my best work. Because, you see, we'd taken lots of classes together, and we'd heard each other's writing many many times before. "I just feel like you've written much better things in the past, that's all," he said.

"Thanks," I said. "Did you get anything in this year?"
"No, not this year."
"Oh, that's too bad," I said.

Checkmate... bitch.