Head Phones and Fruit Roll-Ups

I have this giant pair of giant DJ headphones that I wear occasionally when I don't feel like dealing with my crappy iPod headphones. The giant headphones are extremely conspicuous and sort of ridiculous and make me a little self-conscious about people thinking I'm trying too hard.

There are these three guys on 53rd who stand outside of the New York Public Library. They wear all camo gear and hold giant boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. As you walk by, the three men holler at you from different angles, trying to get you to buy a Fruit Roll-Up for $1.

So I'm walking down the street the other day to get lunch, my giant headphones around my neck because I haven't figured out what I want to listen to yet. Suddenly, one of the camo guys pops out from behind the limits of my peripheral vision and asks me if I want to buy a Fruit Roll-Up. He's not out stealing or selling drugs, you see, but is doing something positive in the community in order to make money.

Editorial Note: Every one of these people on the street/in the subway says the same exact speech about how they're not out stealing or selling drugs to make money, but that they are trying to do something positive for the community. I swear, there's a website where they're all getting and memorizing this same speech.

"No thanks," I say.
"Come on, it's just a dollar. Don't you like Fruit Roll-Ups?"

Here's the thing: I am indifferent towards Fruit Roll-Ups. I realized after he asked that I could probably go my entire life without ever purchasing and eating another Fruit Roll-Up. I felt kind of good about that, like I'd grown up or something. Like the days of over-processed, super-sweet food were over, and that somehow made me an adult.

"No, I really don't want a Fruit Roll-Up," I said. "Besides, I don't even have any cash on me."
"Well what about those headphones around your neck? How much were those?"
"I don't think you have enough Fruit Roll-Ups in that box to buy my headphones," I said. "And what would I do with a box Fruit Roll-Ups?"

We both laughed, shook hands/"dapped each other up"/whatever you call it, and I asked him if I could get a picture.

"Sure," he said. "If you buy a Fruit Roll-Up."

Touche.

Top 5 OC Characters

If you ever watched The O.C. do yourself a favor and read this list...

Then do all of us a favor and make your own list:

http://www.poolpartysuite.com/pps/?p=65

-compliments of http://www.poolpartysuite.com

Oscar Picks

It looks like my Oscar picks wound up being pretty accurate. I didn't think There Will Be Blood would win Best Picture, I think everyone would have been shocked if No Country For Old Men didn't win. I'm just glad Daniel Day-Lewis won for Best Actor, if he didn't win that I would have been visibly upset. I didn't even know the nominees for Best Actress, and just really wanted Ellen Page to win. Oh well. What's her name from La Vie En Rose won, and she seemed to deserve it.

Unfortunately, the Oscar pool at work was due before I saw any of the movies, so my work ballot wasn't good at all. Meh, life goes on. I can't believe I'm even talking about this shit, I never watch awards shows. This must be how people who watch football feel about the Super Bowl... but way gayer.

Oscar Predictions

I'll expand on my rationale later, but here (before the show) I'm going to give a few of my Oscar picks. They're different from my work Oscar pool picks because at that time I hadn't seen every movie.

I just realized I don't remember very many of categories, but here are a few picks:

Best Actor - Daniel Day Lewis
Best Picture - There Will Be Blood
Best Supporting Actress - Tilda Swinton (I don't know if she's nominated)
Best Score - Atonement (typewriters as instruments?! Insanity)
Best Art Direction - Atonement
Best Original Screenplay - Juno (if this doesn't win I'll be crazy surprised)
Best Adapted Screenplay - No Country For Old Men (again, surprised if it doesn't win)
Best Actress - Ellen Page

There you go, I guess we'll see what happens. Happy Oscars!

Weekly Matches

As you may remember, a while ago I decided to create a match.com profile strictly out of curiousity. Since then I've pretty much ignored match.com, but I still get daily matches sent to my gmail account that show me who, based on pre-determined preferences (that have changed often depending on my mood), would be a good match for me. While most people look first at the pictures, I've taken to immediately reading the tagline by the picture.

The tagline in a match.com profile, for those of you who don't know, is that eye-catching line that displays your personality hopefully shares some insight into the kind of person you are. I enjoy them so much that I've decided to post a few here:

Enchanting Female Looking For a Nice, Loving & Sexy Man

-That's awfully confident. who describes theirself as "enchanting?" I mean other than Prince.

"To being an US for once...instead of a THEM!" La Vie Boheme

-I prefer the La Vie Boheme line, "To leather, to dildos, To curry Vindaloo To Huevos Rancheros, and Maya Angelou."

Allergic...to dancing?

-I actually really love this one.

Single teacher looking for that romantic someone.

-Wow, that's really boring. I suggest a few edits: "History teacher looking for a brush up on anatomy." See? Much better.

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

-This doesn't make me think, "Oh, yes, I totally want to date her! She's just so delightfully bitter!"

Searching For Mr. Right Not Mr. Right Now!

-This would be great if she changed "Mr. Right Now" to "Mr. 'Baby, that was great, but you gotta' go."

There you go. I think getting my daily match.com matches is my new favorite thing. I strongly recommend signing up yourself.

Smart Phones

When I was in college I didn't know what a Palm Treo was. I vaguely knew what a Blackberry was, but I knew I didn't need one, and I had no desire to own one. After I graduated I moved down to Seattle and started working in the software industry. Suddenly everyone I knew had Motorola Qs, and Treos, and Blackjacks. Practically no one had a Blackberry, which I still don't understand. I soon found myself lusting after my friend's Q, to the point where I was playing with it once while driving and almost rear-ended someone.

Now I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I need a Blackberry. Like, I need one. Was I just in this weird Northwestern vacuum? I know why I feel like I need a Blackberry (I have my reasons), but what I don't understand is how awesome phones weren't even on my radar so recently as a few years ago. Was it a technology spike, or was I just in a place where no one cared. To that end, does that mean there are actually geographic locations that can collectively be unaware or consciously buck a current trend so strongly?

What I'm getting at is, my birthday's in June... so, you know... a Blackberry would be nice.

Weekend 001

I'm kicking off this weekend by going up to Harlem for some soul food, then I'm going to see The Roots at The Apollo Theater. I'm going to avoid chitlins, but not collards, because I love collards.

Saturday, I'll be somewhere in Manhattan watching all five of the best picture nominees for this year back-to-back. Hopefully at some point I'll finally buy some canvases, fill out the bachelor auction questionnaire that I just got in my email box, and drink 1-14 beers.

Sunday, as always, I'll go to brunch. Likely The Kettle Black, but maybe I'll try someplace new. Last Sunday we went to a place called The Germaine (I think). The service was so French and terrible. The waitress actually waved her hand in a dismissive way at Amy when she asked for water. That said, the food was incredible, and it became clear to me that the quality of service and deliciousness of brunch are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but often are.

On Sunday night I'll catch up on all my favorite DVR recorded shows, and possibly do laundry.

Things that may or may not happen this weekend:

I'll go for a run
I'll talk to someone at the off-track betting place down the street
I'll buy some sneaks
I'll start a book
I'll finish a book

Ross and Rachel

Ross and Rachel had absolutely no chemistry.

There, I said it. Look at them. Really think about these two people and consider their actual potential as a couple. Seriously, it's a testiment to the writing of "Friends" that anyone cared about these two people getting together at all.

Audio Killed the Literary Star

I just finished listening to "Me Talk Pretty One Day" on the old iPod and let me tell you, hilarious! So I thought, "hey, there might be something to this audio book thing," and I bought two more titles. Those titles were "No Country for Old Men" and "Atonement," both books I've wanted to read, but knew I probably wouldn't get around to anytime soon. My original thinking in getting the David Sedaris book "Me Talk Pretty One Day" was that I would want something light and easily listenable for the subway. When I put my headphones on, and clicked play on "Atonement" I soon realized that my initial thought process was sound.

With books like "Atonement" or "No Country For Old Men" you need to process them at your own pace. Occasionally one needs to stop and go back a couple pages if they spaced out while reading or got distracted. With the audio book that's not really possible. "Atonement" immediately lost my attention because of the language used, and the style of writing. I was lost inside of five minutes, and what would normally be a leisurely train ride became a frustrating exercise in concentration.

I brought this up with a friend, and he corroborated my newly discovered feelings about how some audio books work and some just don't. He said audio books are for performances, not literature, which makes absolute perfect sense. David Sedaris has a fantastic voice. His words are his own and he really gets behind them. There are live parts of him performing pieces of his book that really make you feel like you're in the audience. Because of the perspective, and the simple non-fiction narrative, listening to "Me Talk Pretty" was extremely easy.

I have a subscription to an audio book site now that gives me 2 books a month for the next year. I'm looking forward to listening to all the Sedaris-like books I know I'd never read on my own time, and I'll leave "No Country" for the weekend.

Anderson Cooper 360

I don't understand why people are always talking about Anderson Cooper being gay like he's going out of his way to hide it. It's like Clay Aiken said in an interview (which really speaks to my news citations), "It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn't matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. … People are going to believe what they want." They way I took that comment, after reading some subtext was, yes, of course clay broke it, so why would you even ask?

Yes, of course Anderson Cooper is gay, but don't try to act all indignant because he's not marching in any parades. Don't feel all betrayed because he's not some giant screaming queen on CNN. During the caucus coverage on CNN no one will deny that he did a fantastic job. He did his job as a news anchor. Would you feel better if he was all "Oh girl, Hillary took another state! Three snaps for that political bitch! Uh-Uh, and UH! *snaps in a Z formation*." Did we see Anderson Cooper at the Kathy Griffin show in New York? Yes. Does he work out at the gayest gym in the city? Yup.

Does it bother you that he's not out as a rolemodel? Is that the problem here, that's he's not on the cover of Out Magazine talking about his confused adolescense? Because it seems to me like he's already an amazing role model. If you need him to come out and say "yep, I'm gay" then that's like saying you'll start building that house as soon as someone gives you 200,000 bricks. Shit, get off Anderson Cooper's tip.

"... and leave Britney alone!"

Dandy in the Underworld

I just added a link to Dandy in the Underworld, a hilarious blog by Sebastian Horsley. I high recommend it. He's got a book coming out soon called DANDY IN THE UNDERWORLD. I'm excited to start reading it.

High School Football Star

I realized recently that I can't stop recounting what my life was like before I moved to New York. Like the townie who was a high school football star who always talks about the game where he threw 6 touchdowns, or an aging rock star who carries around at all times a list of women he slept with on the road, I find that I'm constantly comparing my "new" life to my "old Seattle life." Undoubtedly it annoys everyone around me, and I thank them for listening politely while I remember what driving felt like, or what Evergreens trees smell like, or how I once wasn't an Assistant.

There was this guy I used to work with, his name was Eric. He was a stockbrocker when he was young, in New York City. Something happened along the way and at the age of 67 I was his boss. He would always tell the same stories, and they never failed to irritate me, especially when I was trying to get him to do something for work I would never want to do.

This isn't something I did before I moved here. I got to thinking tonight why I keep bringing up the past. And then it dawned on me that I keep remembering my old life because that's what I can hold on to. I don't know what's going to happen here, my roots aren't settled yet, and how can you really feel engaged if you don't seem "in it." So starting now, I guess, I'm going to try to not think about how things used to be. I'm going to pretend that I'm not starting over again, but that I'm just starting. Maybe this will make a difference, and maybe I'll stop sounding like Uncle Rico from Napolean Dynamite.

Beyonce Drink

Why is Beyonce getting credit for putting fruit in water and making it taste good? Apparently she doesn't like drinking water, so she puts a bunch of other stuff in it and convinces herself that it is not, in fact, still normal water. Are you going to tell me you don't like the taste, Beyonce? That makes no sense, water has no taste. I've met people who don't like water and I never understood it. Moreover, a lot of those people I've met who don't like water are thin. The reason I bring that up is because it stands to reason that people who don't like water grew up drinking lots of soda or juice or whatever and can't drink something that doesn't taste "good." But I have to give Beyonce some props. I like anyone who takes pride in their Connect Four skills. Seriously! It's just so wholesome and fantastic. Drink whatever you like Beyonce, it's on me!

Here's how to make "Beyonce Drink":

Things You’ll Need:
Cucumber
Lemon or lime
Water
Pitcher (or you can use a water bottle, philistine)
Knife

Step 1: Wash the cucumbers and all the utensils you're going to use.

Step 2: Slice the cucumbers and lemons.

Step 3: Fill your water bottle or pitcher with water.

Step 4: Add the slices. The amount is dependent on how much of a taste you want.

Step 5: Enjoy.

Tips & Warnings (I did not write any of these)

--The longer it sits after you have finished, the better time the veggies and fruit will have to kind of sift the flavor through.
--Drinking this keeps you pretty refreshed and tastes great.
--You can add cayenne peppers.
--Make sure to wash all your utensils. Come on, now let's be sanitary.
--Be careful to be moderate. Take only what you can handle.

Beyonce Drink steps and Tips & Warnings from eHow at http://www.ehow.com/how_2172984_drink-beyonce-water.html

Golden Child: Part II

Behold further evidence of my awesome powers. I'll let Matt explain:

"First you bring a Super Bowl contender to New York, now you bring KEXP? How do you do this? Next they'll be building a space needle over there.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004175984_kexpstory.html"

Maybe I will have a Space Needle built here. I don't know, I'll get back to you on that.

10 Best Date Movies

It always seemed odd to me that Valentine's Day is in February, one of the coldest, grossest months of the year. The argument can be made that what the world needs (now) is love... sweet love, and that when just looking outside makes you want to stay indoors and cry it's nice to focus on happier things. That said, this is the time of year when we start getting all the subtle--and not so subtle--reminders that if you don't get your girlfriend/boyfriend the perfect gift, or you fail to make the day as special as possible, that you will die alone.

With that in mind, it's impossible lately to avoid romantic lists. We, as a people, love lists. We like lists of the best places to go, the best places to eat; we like to be told which wax will give our Prius' the best shine, and which Danity Kane songs are the most poppin'. Now that it's Valentine's Day week, there are lists all over the place about what to buy her and how to give her the perfect V-Day (which always makes me think of Vietnam, not Valentine's Day). Above all the lists you might have to wade through, the most prevalent have to be the "Best Date Movie List." Honestly, if you read enough of these you start to subconsciously consider your own nominees constantly, and it begins to ruin your life.

In an effort to not go insane, here's my Top 10 Best Date Movies list. Maybe after getting this out there on the internet, it'll stop bouncing around my brain, and I might just be able to sleep tonight. These are all movies I've seen. There are some obvious choices like Titanic that should probably be on the list that I haven't seen. However, a determining factor of my list is that I want to include movies that both sexes might enjoy. I haven't seen Titanic because I know I'd probably think it's boring and crappy. On with the list!

10) The Princess Bride - Has anyone not seen this movie 1000 times? I just asked Julianne if she's seen it and she said "many many times," which is an astoundingly common answer. In fact, it's not even a common answer, it is the only answer. Everyone in my (our) generation has deep seeded memories of this movie, and you have to admit that it holds fond memories for us all. Male or Female there's something to love about this movie.



9) The Notebook - Guys like this movie but usually won't admit it. The book was absolutely terrible, but the movie adaptation with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams was incredible. No two people have ever had that kind of chemistry on-screen, and when they broke up in "real-life" I felt like a piece of me stopped believing in true love. I remember watching this movie one 4th of July in my apartment and getting really annoyed with people in the nearby Albertson's parking lot because I couldn't hear the dialogue over the black cats and M80s they were setting off... I shouldn't have told you that.



8) High Fidelity - A lot of people would say Say Anything is a better date movie, but those people are fools. Actually, I can completely see the argument for Say Anything. It's a classic romance that focuses strictly on the relationship of two people. High Fidelity, however, is a more multi-faceted movie that takes a far more interesting take on relationships. It does a better job framing thought processes in relationships, and has more interesting characters. The story is more compelling because you really get to know the protagonist, and there are lots of other supplementary characters to support his internal conflict. Anyhow, I just think it's a better movie, and much more entertaining to guys than Say Anything. Though there is that part of Say Anything, I'll concede, with the Peter Gabriel that cannot be denied.





7) Annie Hall - I dated a girl once whose name was A. Hall. She had never heard of Annie Hall and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't make myself understand that someone whose name sounded like Annie Hall could live for 20 years without seeing this movie. This is one of my favorite movies, for dates or not. I think any girl who likes this movie is awesome. I say any girl because most guys like this movie. Somehow all relationship neurosis got placed on women, and you never see good depictions of male relationship neurosis in movies. So usually when you see it, it's done well. If it's not you just wind up hating the guy in the movie and not watching it. This is a good date movie because you can both sit there, look at the relationship between Diane Keaton and Woody Allen, and discuss why they're both so horribly flawed at many points in the movie and how true-to-life the movie really is (as far as film romance is concerned).



6) Brokeback Mountain - If you're a guy and you're watching this movie with your boyfriend, you're in for a long night. A long night of talking, a long night of tears, and probably a long night of passionate guy-on-guy action. For the gay readers, this is your number 1 best date movie pick, and you should go buy it right now. For hetero couples, however, this movie is still great. It's got an actual story arch and two really compelling characters. The romance between the men in the movie feels genuine, and is made even more powerful by their own struggles in dealing with their taboo feelings. Additionally, the cinematography is unbelievable. Even if you're not into the story, the art direction alone should keep you compelled. I wasn't really impressed by this movie the first time I saw it. It was in a theatre, and I was with my current girlfriend. Her brother is gay, and I had heard how much he and everyone else had just loved this film; there was so much build-up that there was really no where to go for my expectations. When the lights came up in the theatre I saw people crying, and hugging, and I was generally under-whelmed. That said, when I finally saw this movie again, without all the expectations, I realized it has a truly touching story, and it was also visually stunning.

[5 - 1] to come...

Life in Seattle Picture

This is life in Seattle. It looks like this 12-months a year. This is one of my favorite pictures for the reasons I've illustrated below.

File Under: Post-Nasel Drip

I'm sick today. I was sick yesterday and stayed home. Someone asked why, if I'm just sitting around at home, I haven't been updating all day. I told him I couldn't focus because of all my sickness, which was true.

I'll probably get back to updating tomorrow, but for now, I'm going to rest up (and consider going down to Herald Square to ask Julia Allison questions I make up on the spot).

16GB iPhone

16GB iPhone now available, months early.

Details later... my mind is blown.

Terrible Valentine's Day Gift

I think the worst gift you can give someone for Valentine's Day is a box of divorce papers.

If it's a heart-shaped box it's even more crushing, funny.

K-Fed is a Genius

How in the HELL did Kevin Federline come out smelling like roses? Honestly, everyone hated him for song long, and for so many things. But now, he looks like the best father in the world, and like, the only stable thing in his kids lives. He was even ranked by Entertainment Weekly as one of the years most influential people! What? This is the "Popozao" Guy, remember? Remember?

OK, OK, maybe you just forgot. I know you have your mind on a lot of other things right now. Shit gets crazy, I know. But seriously, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Here, watch this:

He needs a nut kick so bad. It's like he aspired to be the next Vanilla Ice but came up short. "LET ME SEE SOME POPOZAO!!!" Um... no. Kevin, can I call you Kevin? You're so cheezy it makes my face hurt. You're so cheezy the lactose intolerant girl next door is going into anaphalactic shock. K-Fed, you're so cheezy and corny that you could be served at Taco Bell.

But I'm glad you got away from Britney. That bitch is crazy.

Thinking about Yarmulkes

The other day I was walking downtown behind a guy wearing a yarmulke, and I got to thinking. A lot of religious traditions have tangible reasons, aside from spiritual. Jewish people don't eat pork, not for religious reasons, but because back when that rule was decided all kinds of diseases were transmitted through improperly prepared pork.

The Catholics don't eat meat on Friday, and are encouraged to eat fish. This tradition has, contrary to popular belief, nothing to do with Jonah, or the fish filled with gold from the Bible, or anything like that. Back when the fish on Friday tradition was created, it was because the fishing industry in many Catholic communities was suffering, so the church passed down an edict that mandated their parishioners eat fish every Friday. I think it worked, but I'm not sure.

So I'm walking behind this guy wearing a yarmulke, trying to figure out where this tradition came from. The only thing I could think of was that the yarmulke fits perfectly over bald spots; maybe it has something to do with that.

Big Week

Hey, if you're a Catholic, Football fan, whose registered to vote in New York state this is a big week for you. Go'on with your bad self.

Best. Chair. Ever.

This is the actual description that I found for this drafting chair at http://www.leesartonline.com/.

"The Martin Fung Shui Chair is your power chair, designed with excellent lumbar support, and adjusts to fit your body in every way. Note the adjustable armrests included. This is theplace to where you run your personal empire. What happens here leads to success. View the door but do not be in front of it. Adjustable 18" chrome foot ring. Seat adjusts from 25-35 inches."

They forgot to mention that it spins both clockwise AND counter-clockwise, and that it will give you the ability to fly.

Facebook Status Update... Update

Yesterday I observed people's Facebook status updates and tried to quantify them in a meaningful way. I think 11/73 mentioned the Super Bowl in their Facebook status on Monday, so I wanted to compare that to the amount of people who mentioned Super Tuesday, or politics, or elections in their status.

2/73 people mentioned the election, and both of them were from Seattle. Well, one was from Seattle and the other lived in Seattle with the other guy from Seattle (seriously). One person, who I met in an English class in college, had a picture of Obama on his profile, but his status was still about the Super Bowl--so I didn't count it (maybe I should have).

But I don't really think it's all that strange that people don't have resoundingly political status updates, I really don't. No one I know cares about American Idol, and yet, everyone is apparently watching it. What I mean is, just because something is on the minds of a lot of people, doesn't mean that Facebook will reflect that. That said, I think it's fair to assume that Facebook actually revealed something kind of meaningful. People really do give the Super Bowl more thought than Super Tuesday. I didn't even know what Super Tuesday was until I wikipedia-d it a few weeks ago.

So is it a bad that people are talking about football and not politics? No, absolutely not, because that doesn't necessarily mean they're not voting. I don't write about paying my electric bill, or talking to my parents on the phone, or writing emails to people I haven't talked to in a while. Usually when I'm in the course of doing those things my status says something like,

"Marc is... naming the five greaters rappers of all time: Marc, Marc, Marc, Marc, and Marc. Because I spit hot fire."

So there you go.

Classy Ads

The ads on my sidebar that change based on the content of my site are about luxury condos and maid services today.

I don't know why GoogleAds thinks my blog is suddenly so swank, but you're OK, I'm OK.

Here's an example:

Um, I live in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. The only luxurious thing in my life right now is my roommate's conditioner.

But that's pretty F-ing luxurious.

Super Bowl Tuesday

Does anyone else think it's kind of fishy that the big parade for the Giants is happening on Super Tuesday? Now that Guilianni is no longer in the Presidential race I'm not as suspicious, but still, it seems like some very specific planning.

Golden Child

I'll let Blake explain:

"[Marc] lived in Pittsburgh, they won a Super Bowl. [Marc lives] now in New York ... Super Bowl. I think there's a glaring omission ... where's Seattle's? Pull us some strings, we need this."

It took all the focus I had just to get Seattle to the Super Bowl.

You can make someone dinner, but you can't make them hungry.

Marc is compiling data from facebook status updates

I haven't yet discovered any underlying pattern or pervasive trend regarding facebook status updates, but I think the project has potential--for keeping me busy at work. Out of 243 friends, only 73 of my friends actually use the status update feature. Of those people, the average update cycle is about three days. In some cases (me, for example) status updates are made almost daily, with exceptions accounting for weeks with the same status update.

Seeing as how the SuperBowl was yesterday, I was curious how many people's status updates would reference the game. In total 11/73 of my facebook friends mentioned something about the game yesterday. Those 11 include comment like: "_______ is like, wtf," and "_______ knows that the real winner yesterday was NewsCorp." Here are some other statistics:

1/73 people alluded to the band Westlife
2/73 people are happy about having a specfic day off of work
1/73 people do not care for Burrough Tour 2008
7/73 people are "is (one word)."

My current status update reads: "Marc is gonna' make you breakfast, with eggs and toast, because it's your special day." And you know what? It's fucking true.

Call Me

I'm worried about Anna Wintour. I think she could use a friend.

Tattoos At 1:47AM

Last night/early this morning I was doing laundry at my local 24-hour Bright White. While I folded a pair of semi-damp wool socks, it occurred to me, in a shining beacon of incomparible granduer what the greatest tattoo in the world would be. Please, if this particular image strikes you as fast and hard as it struck me, take it upon yourself to go to your local tattoo parlor and get your ink on.

So, I'm mid-fold with some damp socks that I'm too tired and cheap to re-dry for another 6 minutes. Scrubs is on in the background, it's an episode I've seen probably four times. The night guy at Bright White is playing with his phone, has an ear piece in, and smiling with a custom gold grill that seems excessive for someone who works nights at a laundrymat--but what do I know about style?

And it hit me: Cheetara, riding a sea-foam green Vespa.

If that seemed anti-climactic you need to let it settle into your brain a little bit. Really think about it. A ThunderCat, and not just any ThunderCat, but Cheetara, riding around on a sea-foam green Vespa scooter. Helmet? No helmet, that's a silly question. ThunderCats don't wear helmets... they do wear elbow pads though.