Found Note

Yesterday I was walking to my Mystery Writing Class, wearing a coat I haven't worn for a while, and I found a little slip of paper with a bunch of tiny writing on it. After reading the little corner of paper, I realized that it was a note that this girl, Allie, and I passed back and fourth during a class once. I think we were listening to someone talk about child molesters or some shit, I don't know, that seems logical. The note read as follows:

Allie: I wonder if child molesters know about the wilderness badge? They'd be in Heaven.

Marc: Yes, we do. Don't tell anyone or my evening will be ruined.

Allie: Alright, Chester the Molester. You're sick, you need to go to church and get help.

(Time passes since last response)

Marc: I can't relate to anything she is saying. I don't even have a dog.

Allie: I have a wilderness badge... and a dog.

Marc: I figured as much, hippie.

And that's basically how I communicated with girls throughout all of high school and college, not by claiming to be a child molester and calling them hippies, but with little notes. I found that just having that short delay between when you think something and write it vs. think something and say it, prevents a great deal of stupid things from coming out of your mouth.

Perhaps as we communicate more though electronic forms we'll all start to think each other is more intelligent and articulate than we actually all are. Then people will get more insecure, thinking they're not as clever as everyone else they know, and we'll become (as a society) even more overly-medicated than we already are. I recommend investing in pharmaceuticals now. This is my contingency plan for when we all find out Social Security and 401Ks were just big practical jokes propagated by the government in conjunction with Candid Camera.

I think if I looked around my old things I'd find lots of these little notes. I remember now that I once had a lengthy argument with someone on a slip of paper about why Will Smith is better than Bob Hope. If you're wondering who won the argument, I think it's pretty obvious that no one did.