Kevin Nealon Is Taller Than Most People

Both my boss and my co-worker were astounded at how tall Kevin Nealon is. I wasn't surprised. He was always the tallest one on the SNL cast by far.

I met Kevin Nealon today. He's doing a book with us and we had a champagne toast in his honor. My boss had to get a picture signed for an employee here who is obsessive about celebrity autographs. While he was signing the photo, Kevin (I call him K-von, but don't tell him I told you), told us that the boobs on his head in Little Nicky were really heavy. They were actually filled with "prophylactics" (which means condoms) that were full of water. He said people kept fondling his head all day.

I said, "Did you ever think about just wearing them around on the street?" He said something that I can't recall, and I walked away to re-group. I still hadn't officially met him yet; just stood by the boss and listened to the boob-head story...

When I walked back, I went with Walt (who has a blog, but will not get linked to because he sucks) and we introduced ourselves accordingly. Walt told him he is a fan of everything he does and that he was looking forward to working with his manuscript.

Walt is far cooler than I am.

K-von started talking about how it feels like Friday because everyone is drinking at 3:00 in the afternoon. I said, "I've been saying that all day," which made no sense in the context of the conversation, but I really had been saying it felt like Friday all day. He looked at me like I was an idiot because what I said made no sense and I looked like a kiss-ass (which admittedly I am).

Strike 2.

I never made it to strike 3 because I quickly retreated back to my office. I bought http://www.marcinthecity.com/ to make myself feel better, turned off all the lights, and cried myself to sleep at my desk while listening to Depeche Mode.

Why do you hurt me so bad, Kevin Nealon?

But hey, even if it was at work, that's celebrity sighting #2! The first, for those keeping score, was Zack Galifianakis. I saw him at a subway stop in Soho. He was holding a bag from Crate & Barrel. I have yet to decide if that adds to or takes away from his street cred. I'm leans towards "adds."